The following test is not timed.
This is the McMaster Madness Plagerized Inventory.
Please answer true or false to each statement.
Do not skip any. There are 100 questions. If you are not sure if the statement is true of false chose anyway.
You may take a break at any time and come back when you are ready.
No, I’m sorry, we can’t sharpen your pencil.
When you are finished, please hand your test to that nice person over there in the white coat and leave a comment if you are able.

1. T F Frantic screams make me nervous.

2. T F I salivate at the sight of mittens.

3. T F When I walk quickly, I can feel my legs moving.

4. T F Other people look at me as though I know what I am doing.

5. T F When God speaks to me, He sounds a little confused.

6. T F I feel like I used to be much smaller than I am now.

7. T F My tongue has been depressed.

8. T F All public officials tell the truth.

9. T F I would care more about myself if I knew which one I was.

10. T F Schizophrenia doesn’t worry me, or me either.

11. T F When I smile, people apologize.

12. T F Sometimes I go to the bathroom.

13. T F If I go into the street, I’m apt to be bitten by a horse.

14. T F Some people never look at me.

15. T F Spinach makes me feel alone.

16. T F My sex life is A-okay.

17. T F I get nauseous from too much roller skating.

18. T F I cannot read or write.

19. T F I am bored by thoughts of death.

20. T F I become homicidal when people try to reason with me.

21. T F I would enjoy the work of a chicken flicker.

22. T F I am never startled by a fish.

23. T F I like mannish children.

24. T F Most of the time, I go to sleep without saying good-bye.

25. T F I am not afraid of picking up doorknobs.

26. T F I would like to hunt lions in Detroit.

27. T F My eyes are always cold.

28. T F I never see double.

29. T F I never see double.

30. T F Much of the time, I feel as if I have done something.

31. T F If I were a cow, I would enjoy being milked.

32. T F I have been considering an act.

33. T F Most people lack the proper balance between hate and malice.

34. T F It makes me furious to see an innocent man escape the chair.

35. T F I usually resist the momentary passions which congest my groin.

36. T F I never find it difficult not to give up hope no more of never amounting to nothing.

37. T F I never suffer from feelings of rejection, but then I never ask
to be accepted.

38. T F God is a special agent of mine.

39. T F I feel that there is no harm in being schizophrenic as long
as it doesn’t interfere with your daily work.

40. T F I feel intensely.

41. T F Hot, raw, bawdy, vulgar, sizzling sex fills the minds of most clergymen.

42. T F I don’t feel any different afterwards.

43. T F I sometimes feel as if the years have slipped from my hand
like little goldfish.

44. T F My father was a male.

45. T F I think I would like the work of a nepotist.

46. T F I would like to draw children (or quarter them).

47. T F Often I feel as if there were a tight band around my head,
but it is only my halo.

48. T F In limp moments devotional singing cheers me.

49. T F If someone hadn’t had it in for me I never would have gotten
it in at all.

50. T F My memory seems to be all right.

51. T F My memory seems to be all right.

52. T F I have at times stood in the way of people who were trying
to do something, not that I gave a damn, but simply because I hated to move.

53. T F I would not like the work of an undertaker.

54. T F I have never indulged in any conventional sex practices.

55. T F .sesrever noisiv ym gnidaer elihw semitemoS.

56. T F I used to like to play Drop the Soap.

57. T F Someone has it into me.

58. T F It makes me uncomfortable to put on a stunt at a party even when others have already gone home.

59. T F I believe in the second coming although once is all I can manage anymore.

60. T F My mind and body are a battleground of disease.

61. T F My closest friends envy my slightest success.

62. T F I feel more like I do now than I ever have before.

63. T F I am about as unable to work as I ever was.

64. T F There seem to be a lump in my kidney most of the time.

65. T F Once in a while I says things to bad to think about.

66. T F My worst fears are constantly being realized.

67. T F I do not always lie.

68. T F I am in just as good physical health as most of my parents’ friends.

69. T F A therapist can cure disease by praying and putting his hand on your wallet.

70. T F Most people who know me would rather not.

71. T F As a youngster I was suspended from school one or more times for cutting up others.

72. T F Everything is turning out just like Karl Marx said it would.

73. T F The right kind of life is unlivable.

74. T F Any man who is able and willing to work hard will probably fail anyway.

75. T F These days I find it hard not to give up hope of mounting something.

76. T F My speech is just as inept as ever.

77. T F I cannot think up any new and unusual sex practices.

78. T F I loved my mother but got caught.

79. T F My family is never happy unless I am roaming or travelling about.

80. T F I have been trying to poison me.

81. T F During the past few years my mental and physical decline has continued.

82. T F The top of my head covers a sub-dural hematoma.

83. T F I liked reform school.

84. T F My mother was a woman.

85. T F I frequently notice my hand shakes when I meet a person for the first time.

86. T F I can read a long while without learning anything.

87. T F No one wants to steal my thoughts or ideas.

88. T F My family are nearly all related to me.

89. T F I dream frequently about things that are best kept from myself.

90. T F I have few or no pains that do not become chronic.

91. T F I believe there is a Devil in the White House.

92. T F I believe there was a God.

93. T F I am much more nearly myself than anyone else.

94. T F I have often felt that strangers weren’t looking at me.

95. T F In school, the class found it very hard for me to talk in front of them.

96. T F Peculiar oders come from me at times.

97. T F I hear strange things when I listen to people talk.

98. T F People say insulting, vulgar and accurate things about me.

99. T F When I am feeling very happy and active, I will usually be over it by morning.

100. T F Sometimes I am sure that others can tell what I am thinking about and are bored.

Published 5 years, 9 months ago