I’m reaching up to touch bottom these days.
And I know it’s about trust. We are all so different. What someone can take for granted, another cannot. And I admit, I don’t know how to balance trust in relationships sometimes, and I get really stuck.

I promised a couple of friends I would trust them to fight their battle, and keep my big nose out of what they need to do.
I didn’t know it was going to be so hard.

I believe in that bible verse…bear one anothers burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. But, each of us must bear some burdens of our own.
I’m way too human to know how to do that without falling occasionally.

When an event or a circumstance in life is this hard for me, I try to take my focus off myself, off my need to know, off my confusion and lack of trust.
God knows how very difficult it is for me to trust others because of my background. So He sends surprises to help me cope.

I got to play with three very cool little people the other day. Brad is 13, Morgan is 11 and Zach is 8. They are city kids, urbanized, and don’t have much opportunity to romp around the woods. We don’t know each other very well, even though we are related, we’ve only met for a few minutes in their lifetimes.
I can’t give them much except the freedom to learn and some outdoor time.

I asked them if they wanted to hike the watershed with me.
Kids are so cool.
They don’t hide emotions like we grown ups do, everything flits across their face. I watched mistrust, need for adventure, uncertainty, and excitement flash across their faces as they searched mine. Straight in the eye stuff.

The need to explore overcame mistrust and off we went.
I wish Brad, Morgan and Zach could know what they gave me besides a few heart-stopping moments!
I wasn’t going to ‘parent’ them. If they got stuck on a cliff, I wasn’t going to holler “be careful!” I didn’t hover. It’s interesting being protective without destroying or smothering. I remember being 13 or 11 or 8.
The world was a wonderous place, and I was finding my way in it.

I stayed within eye-sight and earshot.
What I saw and heard couldn’t be bought with all the money in the world.

Thier wonder, their delight, their joy, scrambling, climbing, gazing; made a place in my chest ache. Thier awe. It was so beautiful it hurt.

Every once in awhile they’d look for me, just checking. We’d smile and off they’d go again.

Mutual trust. The grownup was around in case things went wrong like bears or broken bones. And this grownup had to reach inside and find that kid that loves the wildness of the woods and let these kids freely explore. And when I did, I got back so much, it still hurts. I’m in awe.

So thank you to three little people who lifted this burden for awhile. Brad, Morgan and Zach, you are very cool. Let’s do it again sometime, eh?