Have you noticed how few women comment on pundit blogs?
Have you noticed how women communicate when they do comment on a pundit blog?
And have you noticed that women rarely comment on the homosexual debate that flies around god-blogs?

Why is that?
I think it boils down to the reality that men and women communicate differently.
If you go to the evangelical outpost for example, you see posts on US politics. The vast majority of commenters are men fighting for dominance.
No where is alpha jockeying more pronounced in god-blog punditing that at Joshua Claybourn’s. (although some in the Blogdom of God appear to be copying the alpha male communication model.)
If you go over to such small hands, you’ll see good posts on US politics.
You’ll see fewer comments, little or no flaming and more collaboration in communication.
Some bloggers focus well on effective dialogue such as DashHouse, What in Tarnation?!?!?, Connexions or The Heresy, and some don’t. I think the age of a blogger does factor in a bit as well as life experience. I deliberately picked both married and unmarried bloggers for that small sample.
In fairness to pundits, the vast majority of us are not professional communicators. Most pundits probably don’t care if they communicate effectively outside their circle of interest or sphere of influence, it’s more about putting one’s point of view out there.
There are exceptions. They tend to stand out. One example is this exchange at evangelical outpost between two bloggers and several readers. It wasn’t a direct political discussion, it was about Jesus t-shirts.
What makes this an exception is the blend of commenters and the tone.

There are basic differences in male-female communication that have been tested and confirmed. The key is knowing basic differences, looking at assumptions we make and then trying to accommodate each other. This tips are for the workplace, but I think work well for blogging. Listening is a learned skill.

1. Power plays.
Her way: Women tend to ask questions about work issues.
His way: Men don’t ask questions. They simply go to work.
Talk it out: When women question male peers or bosses about work issues, men assume women aren’t up to the job. If they were competent, reason men, then women wouldn’t be asking questions. But in fact, women are likely collecting data or verifying and validating information in order to expertly accomplish the job. “Women gather information by asking questions, but men view question-asking as a sign of weakness,” says Sandra Beckwith, author of “Why Can’t a Man Be More Like a Woman?”

2. Image blockers.
Her way: Women frequently rely on images about home or relationships.
His way: Men like to use metaphors about sports or war in business.
Talk it out: The result is that the dialogue often hits a dead end. Women frequently do not follow the touchdown, full-court-press images and vice versa. Sherron Bienvenu, a communication consultant based in Orem, Utah, says she “once told a client that follow-up training would be ‘icing on the cake.’ I envisioned icing as the finishing touch that completes the project and makes it most presentable to the receiver. His perception of icing was of sweet, unnecessary, junky stuff that you scrape off.” Needless to say, she didn’t nail the deal.

But if it’s not a comfortable stretch for you, don’t simply reverse images to communicate. What you ought to do is consider your audience and communicate with gender-neutral images (nature, movies and weather comes to mind). Or use images you like, but elaborate on those with an explanation of what you actually mean.

3. Command conflicts.
Her way: Growing up, girls tend to establish relationships.
His way: Boys usually vie for leadership.
Talk it out: The upshot is that men and women impose authority very differently as well. “Women tend to be more collaborative in the workplace, putting relationships first,” says Roz Usheroff, author of “Customize Your Career.” “Men routinely challenge and expect to be challenged.” Each often finds the other’s style ineffective or insulting.

4. Disputes in the details.
Her way: Women like to tell stories, narrating the trials and errors, turnings and re-turnings that move them to goals or conclusions.
His way: Men cut to the chase. How you get there is immaterial.
Talk it out: This particular gender-based difference drives the other sex crazy. Seriously. But it needs to be addressed. When talking to women, especially women bosses, men ought to explain their thinking a bit before pronouncing judgments or results. And women must simply stop verbal meandering. They need to get to the bottom line more quickly.

5. Emotional exchanges.
Her way: She treats her boss like a husband or boyfriend.
His way: He handles his supervisor like a wife or girlfriend.
Talk it out: This is the subtlest and trickiest of gender miscommunications in the workplace. It’s also one that people are loath to examine. Typically, men and women bring into the office some version of the sexual dynamics they have at home.

6. Decision drivers.
Her way: Generally, women are more comfortable acknowledging and talking about their feelings.
His way: Men prefer to dwell on abstractions and facts.
Talk it out: Every communication — bar none — has both an intellectual and an emotional component, says Kenneth Sole, a social psychologist with some 30 years of experience in assisting organizations to change. So a lot of the communications trouble stems from what happens when we ignore one side of those dimensions. “That’s not to suggest that it needs to be fifty-fifty,” he says. “The conversation can radically improve just by owning up to one aspect of feelings or intellect.”