I blog often about the banality of government, bureaucracy rising to the heights of it’s incompetence, the frustration of voice mail jail and the other little stresses in life.

But I have to say, hands down, MSN US wins the Bene Banal award. I have never encountered anything like this.

With nearly 300 million people in the US I can understand the need for voice menus.
With nearly 31 million people in Canada, we have our share of it. Our government departments are in love with voice menus. I knew I was in trouble when the even toned voice greeted me in Spanish. Musical language like French, but I don’t understand a word of it.

MSN US was crazy making.
It was strait jacket stuff.
Fist through the wall.
Jaw dropping.

Why Microsoft Canada puts someone through to the US is beyond me, but that’s where I wound up. Nine menu choices. Nine. Nine? No wonder the voice tells you to have a pen and paper handy. I could have doodled a masterpiece. It’s a level of anal-retentiveness I hope I don’t encounter again. So that’s what success gets you. Nine menu choices in voice mail jail. I got put through to voice recognition type voice mail. That got funny.

“You may say the following to me and I will assist you.”
Gee, merci, gracias or whatever. It’s time to go for a long walk when you start yelling at voice recognition software.

When you finally wind up with the right menu selection that will give you a person, you get 30 seconds or so of bad techno-pop music. Then a commercial.

A disembodied voice pushing Microsoft products and services. It makes you half nuts. I won’t buy a Microsoft product on purpose now, after being put through that.

I did get a person. He asked me for my case number.
My case what?
Buddy, I’m beginning to become one!
Since I didn’t have a number he couldn’t help me and I got put back into the music/commercial swirl.

I was still sane enough to hang up.
MSN/Microsoft Canada wins the award for the best runaround.
I called directory assistance and asked for Microsoft.

“What city please?”
“I have no idea, let’s try a big one.”

Four hours of my time was taken up this morning trying get a problem fixed that never should have occurred in the first place.

I wasn’t a person to MSN US. I wasn’t a problem. I wasn’t even a case number. Banal. Banal. Banal.

Oh, things got diagnosed, solved and fixed by ISP tech support in Canada. It took five phone calls to the ISP but it did get fixed. I was so grateful, I wrote the supervisor.:^)

Microsoft/MSN US/Canada may take their butterfly, sit on it and rotate. Please.