In Argentina in 1977 four mothers gathered in the Plaza de Mayo to bring attention to the thousands of ‘ the disappeared’ - the sons and daughters of Argentina who had been killed between 1930 and 1977 during 30 coups.

By 1980, a group of women organized into an association and asked for help from US scientists to help identify the remains of ‘the disappeared’ by blood tests.

By 1983, the Argentinan government responded, creating a committee on the disappeared.
It is estimated 30 thousand people had been detained and killed. The response to a cry for help has also helped identify the living - children of detained women adopted mostly by military families. It is a horrific chapter in the 20th century - a story of grief, of shame, and help. It goes on to this day.

Drudge has an email up today from other family members of US soldier Casey Sheehan who died April 4, 2004 in Iraq. Now a whole family is drawn into a media circus.
His mother Cindy has been holding an anti war vigil outside the Bush ranch in Texas.

We are so vulnerable when we grieve.
The media has drawn attention to this mother and the rest of the family has broken thier silence.
We are so vulnerable when we grieve.

1844 US military families are grieving deaths.
93 UK military families grieve their sons and daughters.

We can’t be sure how many Iraq families are grieving. Like Argentina, we may only know after the war, and we may never fully know. The Iraq Body Count puts the minimum number of civilian deaths at 23, 496.

No amount of reasoning will assuage grief.
It is intense sorrow.
And even choosing in grief, we go through stages. They are not linear.

A mother named Cindy Sheehan in the US lost her son Casey in April 2004.
She is one of many who grieve.
There are nearly 1500 media references to her vigil outside a ranch in Texas.

The Sheehan family is ripped apart.
Casey is gone. He is dead.
His family grieves.
They should not be shamed, they should not be used, they should not be manipulated, scorned, discredited, analyzed, exploited or dismissed.
They are vulnerable.
Even in ‘the choices’ of grief, no expert, no caring person sets a timeline.
Grief is a complex, complicated, multi-dimensional individual process.
We are vulnerable when we grieve.