The General welcomes a new guest poster tonight. I hope you will too.

Jerry Falwell saved me.

I didn’t know I needed saving at the time. I had a top-rated television series, money coming out the wazoo, and the ability to show sizzling-hot porn on a video monitor I had mounted in my stomach. You can’t imagine how popular that made me with the guys. Yes, I said guys. You see, my name is Tinky Winky, the formerly-purple teletubby, and I am a recovering homosexual. 

I hadn’t meant to become a friend of Dorthy’s (or actually Dora’s in my case). I didn’t go looking for the demon of homosexuality; I was just trying to find a party.

You see, Dipsy, Po, the Sun Baby and I were attending our first children’s programing convention. We were just kids then really, but we were cocky kids with a new, fantastically successful television show and we were willing to try anything. And try everything we did. I don’t think Dipsy showed up for a single autograph session. He was far too busy talking any of a number of the ever present groupies into reorienting his antenna. Po and the Sun Baby might as well have ducked the signings too, Lord knows they were way to fucked up on smack to autograph pictures.
Me, I was constantly hungover from all the parties the other stars were throwing. It was at one of those parties I first heard sodom’s siren call.

The rest at Jesus’ General