The pastor of Arlington’s High Point Church told his congregation Sunday that he stood by the church’s decision to retract an offer to host a memorial service for a gay man, prompting applause from the hundreds in the crowd.

“With all the negative e-mail we are receiving right now, it seems that the homosexual community, God bless them all, are very organized,” said the Rev. Gary Simons, referring to the reaction to the church’s decision, which has generated news coverage around the world and lighted up gay and religious blogs.

“Before, when you type in ‘Gary Simons’ and ‘High Point Church’ in a Google search, you know, you could find us.  But now, you really could find us.”

Hmmm. So a couple of hundred  media outlets, and couple of thousand blogs, including Christians and military vets are part of the organized homosexual community. I can’t think of why anyone would wish to find this church website, but here you go.  Flashy.

He said that that the nondenominational church did not realize until the last minute that Mr. Sinclair, a Navy veteran who served in the Persian Gulf War, was gay and that his homosexuality would be mentioned at the service.

It’s his story and he is sticking to it.

The family says that it should have been obvious to church staff immediately that Mr. Sinclair was gay. They say that Paul Wagner, 38, was introduced to a High Point audio-visual minister, who came to the hospital on Monday night, as the deceased’s partner.

This fact has been confirmed by more than one source. Cecil Howard Sinclair died Monday.  The church chose not to cancel the memorial until Wednesday night.  There is more than a communication problem, there seems to be some disagreement in leadership.  Gary Simons didn’t say a word to his congregation about the video he told Dallas Morning News on Thursday that:

 ”Some of those photos had very strong homosexual images of kissing and hugging,” he said. “My ministry associates were taken aback.”

And then, he said, the family asked to have its own people officiate the service. “We had no control over the format of the memorial,”

High Point Church opposes homosexuality, and there was no way the church could host a service that appeared to endorse it, Mr. Simons said.

“Can you hold the event and condone the sin and compromise our principles?” he said. “We can’t.”

The issue was not so much that Mr. Sinclair was, from the church’s perspective, an unrepentant sinner, he said. It’s that it was clear from the photos that his friends and family wanted that part of his life to be a significant part of the service.

The pastor said that he could imagine a similar situation involving a different sin. Perhaps a mother who is a member of the church loses a son who is a thief or murderer, Mr. Simons said. The church would surely volunteer to hold a service, he said.

“But I don’t think the mother would submit photos of her son murdering someone,” he said. “That’s a red light going off.”

After the church decided it would not host the funeral service, it offered to pay for another facility, Mr. Simons said. The family declined and found a local funeral home to hold the event Thursday night.  Even so, the church sent over food and the video – minus the images church officials found to be offensive.

A reporter for The Dallas Morning News (Jason Trahan) has seen the photos/video. There was no hugging and kissing. So the family isn’t lying, not misguided and misinterpreting in shock from their grief or misunderstanding their sense of appropriateness of the video.

Simons did not say a word about the video to his congregation and what he told AP on Friday:

…the Rev. Gary Simons, said no one knew Sinclair was gay until the day before the Thursday service, when staff members putting together his video tribute saw pictures of men “engaging in clear affection, kissing and embracing.”

Simons said the church believes homosexuality is a sin, but it would have appeared to endorse that lifestyle if the service had been held there. The family had asked for an outside officiant — a gay men’s chorus conductor — and an open microphone for anyone to speak

This isn’t news either, it’s already been reported and the family responded with compliance for the church request for an alter call. Simons is a control freak and he was concerned that:

…the family “requested an open-microphone format to allow anyone in attendance to speak” and chose someone outside High Point to direct the service. “It appeared to the church staff that the family was requesting an openly homosexual service at High Point Church, which is not our policy to allow.”

Cecil Howard Sinclair was a member of The Turtle Creek Chorale.  Conductor Emeritus Dr. Tim Seelig was the one asked to lead the memorial. The church never contacted him.

They never asked what we were going to sing,” said Dr. Seelig, who was a Baptist music minister before becoming leader of Turtle Creek two decades ago. “And ‘Amazing Grace’ – that’s hardy a gay pride rally song. I’m real clear as to what is appropriate at a church memorial service and what is not.”

I have received comments from Elaine Simons under one of the two posts here at BDBO, as well as comments from Cecil’s partner David Wagner, members of The Turtle Creek Chorale, as well as some of Cecil Howard Sinclair’s friends. 
Elaine Simons says in the comment section she was with Gary Simons and his family this weekend and they were grieved. 
Gary Simons got applause from his congregation for his principles Sunday.

Now that things have died down a bit, and Gary Simons has a bit of control back - here is the PR statement read to the congregation and given to media.

High Point Church regrets the unfortunate situation regarding the memorial service for Mr. Cecil Sinclair. Mr. Sinclair was not a member of High Point Church, neither was anyone in his family, except for Lee Sinclair, who is employed by the church. Lee requested for the church to pray for his brother when he became ill. The church prayed for Mr. Sinclair both enthusiastically and faithfully. Lee called one of our ministers to inform him that his brother was in the hospital in critical condition.

“When the High Point minister arrived at the hospital, Mr. Sinclair had already passed. The church minister reached out to the family and tried to comfort them the best that he could. The church did offer the family, free of charge, the use of this facility for the memorial service. It was not disclosed at this time that the deceased was homosexual or that the family desired an openly homosexual memorial service.

“The family requested that the church produce a video of Mr. Sinclair’s life for the memorial service. When the photos were presented to the church, there were some inappropriate images that alerted the church to the homosexuality of Mr. Sinclair. The family requested an associate of the Turtle Creek Chorale, an openly homosexual choir, to officiate the service and for the choir to sing. They also requested an open microphone format to allow anyone in attendance to speak. High Point Church ministers would not be allowed to direct the service, or to have control over what was said or emphasized. It appeared to the church staff that the family was requesting an openly homosexual service at High Point Church, which is not our policy to allow.

“The decision was made to retract the offer to host the memorial service. It is important to emphasize that this was not a funeral service for a body to be buried, but only a memorial service. Both Lee and his sister Kathleen were informed of the decision. The decision had nothing to do with the fact that Mr. Sinclair was a veteran. High Point Church does now and has always supported our men and women in the military.

“This decision was not based on hate, or discrimination, but upon principle and policy.

“We cannot glorify homosexually as a lifestyle. We cannot put inappropriate images on our screens or subject our members, and possibly even our children, to an openly homosexual service. We cannot condone what the word of God condemns.

“The issue is not whether we hold a memorial service in a lifestyle of sin. We’ve assisted many families in this regard. The issue is whether we would allow an openly homosexual memorial service in our church. We love the homosexual, but cannot condone the homosexual lifestyle. We could not allow homosexuality to be glorified in this house of worship.

“To assist the family in securing another location, an offer was made to pay for alternative venue, which the family declined. We produced for the family a memorial video they requested without the inappropriate photos. We also prepared and delivered food for the family and 100 relatives and friends. Our love for the family was demonstrated over and again in our many acts of kindness and concern. Many of our faithful members spent hours cooking and preparing the meals and our staff worked diligently to meet the needs of the family.

“Many of our staff members went to the memorial service in support of the family. The memorial service located at Moore Funeral Home did confirm our concerns, as the tone was openly homosexual.

“The church believes that the right decision has been made and holds firm to its convictions concerning homosexuality.

“It’s our desire to always demonstrate the love of Christ to all people in both word and deed. We would hope that the Sinclair family and the homosexual community would see our love for them through the many acts of kindness and outreach that we have extended to them. We realize that they might not agree with our convictions, but we hope that they would respect them.

“We do love and pray for the Sinclair family, and ask God’s strength and comfort to be with them during this difficult time.”

Yes, I can fully appreciate they regret all the bad publicity they got from his original statements and the churches behavior. It’s not news that Cecil Sinclair was not a member of Arlington High Point Church. Most of his family is Church of Christ. That’s been reported.

The church started off by doing a couple of things we Christians expect ourselves to do. They gave Lee a job, they prayed for Cecil for six years, they offered their facility.  Since Cecil Sinclair was a Desert Storm vet, that’s a plus for the church image.
It’s the amazing excuses they gave to the family Wednesday. Paul Wagner:

On Wednesday evening about 6pm, we received a call. The person on the line put Cecil’s brother Lee, who is mentally impaired, onto the phone. Lee informed us that something had gone wrong, and then someone else got on the phone. That person informed us that a terrible string of errors was made, and that the service could no longer be held at their facility. We never spoke to the pastor nor anyone from his administration directly. It was all done through middlemen. When we requested to know why we could no longer use their facility, there was no answer. They simply stated a mistake was made.

Later that night, while we were scrambling to find another location, Cecil’s niece called back to the church and demanded an explanation. It was at that time a very long string of excuses began to form. First she was told that it was because we were bringing in outside food, which they didn’t allow.

Then we were told it was because there was construction going on nearby which they felt would be too obtrusive. We said we didn’t think it would interfere. Then we were told it was because there was a scheduling conflict. When asked was other event was being held that was conflicting, the call was disconnected.

The family said ministry staff from High Point Church could speak. Cecil’s mother:

“We could have reached a compromise,” she said. “That was never attempted.”

At least some theological questions could have been worked out, she said. For instance, the family was willing to allow the church to issue an “altar call” asking people to accept Jesus at the end of the service.

Gary Simons is determined to dehumanize Cecil Sinclair, Paul Wagner, the Sinclair family and the Wright family as well as Cecil’s friends. He has not been able to.
Nor can he label Christians, none Christians, vets, media and bloggers as ‘ part of the organized homosexual community.’ 
He is attempting to guilt critics of his original words and behavior and make everyone who spoke up look bad. He is trying very hard to be the victim. 
Simons is unable to acknowledge he and his staff did anything wrong. Here is what Tim Seelig told The Dallas Morning News after the memorial:

“Organized Religion vs. GLBT Community Battle” reaches new low!
And I didn’t even know I was a part of the fray this time around!

In addition to being offended by pictures submitted for a video presentation showing affection between Cecil and his life partner, church officials said they were concerned they did not know who was going to officiate the service and would not have control over the content. That someone was me! They never contacted me to ask what the content would be, so how would they know?

My former chorus, the Turtle Creek Chorale, provided the music, as Cecil was a member for many years. This is not new territory for the Chorale. We were banned from performing for a choral convention some years ago at First Baptist Church, Dallas. The church administrator said, “If there were a choir of adulterers in town, we wouldn’t let them sing at the church.” But it is a huge leap from being compared to adulterers back then to murderers today, as Pastor Simons was quoted this week. I was asked by a reporter if I thought they were afraid of the choir. I said I didn’t think so. The Chorale sang “Amazing Grace,” hardly standard gay pride rally music.

I knew Cecil for almost 9 years. I remember very well his story of returning from Desert Shield deciding he could no longer live a lie. He courageously came out — risking, and indeed losing, his biological family, most of whom belong to the Church of Christ. And I remember vividly every time one of them came back into his life — because he either e-mailed me or phoned to rejoice that they had been reunited.

Thursday’s memorial service was one of the most moving, love-filled experiences in memory. The room was literally packed — standing room only. Every single person, including Cecil’s Father, Mother and Sister shared thoughts emphasizing how much they loved him and how proud they were of him – “just as he was.” The service exhibited a true Christian spirit that not even a local pastor could diminish or erase with words of hate. We would all be lucky to have such an outpouring of love upon our own passing from this earth.

These days are difficult. Even when we think we have made huge steps forward, we are reminded by the whiplash of such an experience that the steps have not been so great. It is most often the very people who preach the gospel who forget the truth at its base — unconditional love and absence of judgment. Instead, they hurl their insults and retreat further into their ignorance, fear and rigidity.

I was humbled to be in the presence of Cecil’s family and friends and honored to officiate at the service. Cecil never wavered from his belief that he had done the right thing in living a life of truth. His life was far from having been lived in vain in so many ways. His passing has made an enormous impact on countless people who have now read or heard his story and rejoiced in his life and in the legacy he has left.

From Desert Shield to the front page of the Dallas Morning News — this is a life we honor and celebrate for its courage. I am so proud to have known him - and his family.

Tim Seelig
Director, Art for Peace & Justice
Conductor Emeritus, Turtle Creek Chorale

The other venue the church offered was a community centre. Given they offered a piece of the mega facility for free Monday, offering to pay for a community centre is odd and creepy. Why not just a funeral home? How many minister associates attended?
Yes, as stated several times the church made the video.

According to Paul Wagner, here is what happened with the food:

we then moved to the light meal that had been prepared. Meat and cheese sandwiches, cakes, and cookies. Only a small amount of this was offered by the church, most was either brought by family or friends.

Arlington High Point Church did offer a bit of food. Not quite as grand as Gary Simons would have us believe. Look at his statement. They slaved!  Diligently! Cooking for hours! His hyperbole about all the work and love that went into all that food is something, isn’t it? 

And that dreadful open mic format - the openly homosexual service?

We started with a brief welcome by the officiator. A song (For the Fallen) was sung. Cecil’s obituary was read. We then played the video which was about 10 minutes long, showing him from childhood, graduation, his naval service, and family gatherings, especially those from his 46th birthday, which had just been on the 5th of July.

The officiator then read from personal family statements and remembrances of him. His mother, father, uncle and sister had all contributed personal insights into his life that they were not able to state themselves due to grief. A time was then allowed for individuals to come to the mike and offer their own personal remembrances of him. The chorale then sang another song (Amazing Grace). Closing remarks were made by the officiator.

The family needs to be left alone to grieve.
They had been clear about what happened to them.
I’ve been told I’m demonizing Gary Simons. I don’t need or want to. He is a control freak. Dear God! People! We can’t allow anyone in our church who might express love and gratitude for a homosexual ‘just the way his is!’ 
I believe Simons genuinely believes that statement he released today.
He believes his sermon. He believes his prayer.  He believes every word of it.
He thinks he and his staff were wonderful! Their love overflowing! Their prayers unceasing! Their compassion outstanding! Their efforts stuning!  His righteousness worthy of  proper media attention so we can all see how wonderfully long suffering they  are! Many (how many?) of his brave staff went to an openly homosexual service!
He honestly believes he has righteously stood against sin! He has led his congregation to stand against sin!
He honestly believes he is kind and tolerant. 
He is completely convinced he is right.
He believes he is being persecuted for righteousness sake.
He actually believes what he said.
Not  “I’m sorry. We didn’t handle this well.”
It’s the family’s fault, it’s Cecil’s fault, it’s Paul Wagners fault, it’s The Turtle Creek Chorale’s fault, it’s the media’s fault and bloggers fault for misunderstanding how incredibly loving and amazing Gary Simons and his staff are.
It’s our fault Simons regrets the church got world wide bad publicity.
I went to gay news sites, some have linked here because I’ve covered this in great depth. 

They reported facts. No grand conspiracy, or sinful organized agenda.
No one out to get Gary Simons, his rights, his beliefs and his church. 
Some comments are raw, death is raw, grief is raw, shunning is raw, lying is raw.
People feel.
But hundreds and hundreds blogs and blog comments are not coming from an ‘organized homosexual community’, they are coming from church goers. Pew sitters. Hundreds more are coming from people who have walked away from US religion.
Hundreds more from people that won’t darken a church door.
But that isn’t what Gary Simons wants his congregation to know. Here is what he told them this morning.

High Point Church has come under attack by the homosexual community, God bless them all. They’re disturbed that we would not allow an openly homosexual memorial service in our church. We took at stand against it.

Gary Simons reserved his best spin speaking to his congregation about all the sinners out there that disagree with what he said and the disgust at how his church treated this grieving family. He gives his local paper a real whack, they broke the story.

I want to thanks you for all your positive emails of support. Many of you, when you read in The Dallas Morning News and other places of the attack we were under, you immediately sent us emails and we appreciate your support in this. Those emails are like a treasure found in a field. With all the negative email we are receiving right now, it seems that the homosexual community, God bless them all, are very organized. Before, when you type in Gary Simons and High Point Church in a Google search, you know, you could find us. But now, you really could find us.Any time you stand up for truth, any time you stand up for righteousness you have to understand that the world is not like that and they will resist it. If god be for us, who can be against us? I’m not discouraged, I’m encouraged!

Here is one of the ‘negative emails’ High Point Church got from the ‘organized homosexual community.’ This is from a heterosexual US evangelical.

Folks,

Obviously the media is adept at not telling the whole story, but assuming I have heard the story correctly - I believe you were mistaken to cancel the service for Cecil Howard Sinclair.

I am a theologically conservative Evangelical Christian, and I believe - like you - that homosexuality is a sin.

Everyone in your church is a sinner. If your church is average, near 50% of your men are committing adultery with pornography; and some of your pastors are included.

Nearly everyone of the members in your church has committed - probably recently - one of the actions of a “depraved mind” listed at the end of Romans 1.

I believe your church has violated the admonition of Paul in the first few verses of Romans 2 - immediately following the laundry list including Pauls’ condemnation of homosexuality.

“Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. And we know that the judgment of God rightly falls upon those who practice such things. But do you suppose this, O man, when you pass judgment on those who practice such things and do the same yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?”

I urge you to repent this decision, apologize to the family, re-schedule the service, and show the love of Christ to this gay neighbor’s grieving family. That would be the mark of a Christian lifestyle.

In Christ,
John Howell

Prior posts on Arlington High Point Church and the Sinclair family, links and comments  here and here.

Guest book for Cecil Howard Sinclair.