New Life church pays Haggard victim hush money

Former head of The National Association of Evangelicals and independent mega church minister Ted Haggard is busy promoting a documentary about himself. “The Trials of Ted Haggard” will air in the US on HBO the end of the month.

Meantime, who benefits here and now?

A member of New Life Church tells NEWSCHANNEL 13 that Haggard took advantage of him sexually one night. The man, in his early 20′s, claims he was paid a large sum of money by New Life Church to keep the abuse quiet. Under an agreement with the church he was not supposed to speak of the allegations with anyone outside the church. If he did, he would violate the agreement and would forfeit the money and could be sued by the church. 

It appears from an interview done Friday by Rev. Brady Boyd; who stepped into the New Life Church pulpit after Haggard acknowledged he’d been paying Mike Jones for sex and drugs for three years; that the young man who was paid to keep quiet was an adult at time of the abuse.
Yes. Abuse. Abuse occurs between adults when there is not an equal social footing.
Haggard engaged in abuse of power. 
The church paid to cover up the relationship and keep the younger man quiet.

A minister/congregant relationship is not equal, no matter how the congregant feels.
Sex introduced into the relationship is about power, about the unethical breach of boundaries, about exploitation and authentic consent is not possible.

That this man was paid by church staff to stay quiet while the Haggard/Jones story unfolded is inappropriate.
The leadership of New Life Church Colorado Springs have engaged in an abuse of power and can’t see that.

Is New Life Church looking to be in the HBO documentary? or get a documentary of their own? 
It appears the leadership of the church was more interested in shutting up Ted Haggard’s lovers and victims that in doing the right thing.
That there will be more men coming forward isn’t a shock, that at least one was paid hush money by church leadership isn’t a surprise either.
Have all Ted Haggards sex partners been tested for STD’s?

Anticipating criticism of the settlement with the former church volunteer, Boyd said Friday that it was in the best interests of all involved. He would not name the volunteer or the settlement amount.

“It wasn’t at all a settlement to make him be quiet or not tell his story,” Boyd said. “Our desire was to help him. Here was a young man who wanted to get on with his life. We considered it more compassionate assistance — certainly not hush money. I know what’s what everyone will want to say because that’s the most salacious thing to say, but that’s not at all what it was.”

He said that “secondarily, it’s not great for our church either” that the story be told. Boyd said Haggard knew about the settlement two years ago.

In a letter e-mailed Friday to New Life Church members, Boyd said of the settlement and agreement not to talk:

“This decision was made not as an attempt to conceal wrongdoings, but to protect him from those who would seek to exploit him. His actions now suggest that he has changed his mind.”

The letter said the church “received reports of a number of incidents of inappropriate behavior” after Haggard’s fall.

New Life Church has said it won’t take any legal action against this man they paid to shut up. There may be more than one person going public.  Pursuing hushed victims legally is not going to help this church with the decisions leadership has made.

The church should be a place where staff teaches and practises power with the other, not power over the other. The congregation is left feeling betrayed and outraged and the burden of blame is placed on the congregant who has been sexualized, and who is left being perceived as the one who seduced.

Ministers who betray their marriage, abuse relationships and foster a climate of control and silence are often quite charming and charismatic. Because they are in a position of power they are often seen as having strong leadership qualities and are admired as visionaries, great men, awesome preachers etc. Betraying a church member by engaging in sex makes the minister or priest no different than a batterer; the dynamics are the same. They use their power and the power of their office to keep others silent, submissive and under control, especially in their inner circle. Because ministers and priest who abuse their power are so manipulative it is difficult for those close to them to see the real (hidden) issues of power addiction. Sexual misconduct with a parishioner is easily dismissed as sex and not as exploitation which needs to be dealt with explicitly and openly by a congregation.

The church leadership around Haggard have the same problem he does, failure to admit responsibility.
Kicking him out was only the first step.

Inappropriate conduct by leadership cannot be paid off for far too many people are wounded.
Minimising and rationalizing hush money can only stop when everyone in the group understands it is time to end myths and stereotyping.
How Boyd chooses to speak to AP and how this young man is choosing to speak are vastly different. His fear, betrayal and anger goes far beyond what is being portrayed as a sexual act and a churches desire to help.

Haggard is a seriously messed up man, and portraying himself on the talk show circuit as victim is not going to change his denials and lies about his relationships, his addictions, his sexuality, his need to manipulate, be aggrandizing, or lessen the trail of broken people he has left in his climb to the top.

New Life Church is accountable to no-one. I honestly don’t know what they are seeking, but their statement saddens me. That they would be back in the position of damage control can’t have escaped them when they first started paying people to go away and shut up. Taking Haggard’s power away from him in 2006 was an appropriate step, he was economically rewarded to go away; paying congregants to be quiet is not acceptable. Claiming that isn’t what was intended isn’t working either. 
In 2007 New Life Church stopped some of their denial and without elaborating stated they were aware their founder had been involved in ‘improper relationships.’ It was another step on the long road to responsibility.

The New Life Church statement shows no paradigm shift – the accusation is ‘alleged’, the young man is sexualized, the relationship is not addressed as a power issue, and Boyd almost brags the church leadership made the decision to pay hush money to the congregant for his own good. 

At that time, he and church leaders agreed that publishing his allegations or our church’s assistance to him would not be in his best interest. This decision was made not as an attempt to conceal wrongdoings, but to protect him from those who would seek to exploit him. His actions now suggest that he has changed his mind.

…Our concern has been and continues to be for every person affected. We renew our invitation today for anyone who believes he or she has been hurt to please come forward.

I believe in coming forward, I believe in acknowledging harm, I believe in seeking help.  But going to this church leadership and to this congregation? No. I think outside help is more appropriate if people are going to learn interdependence and boundaries.  

I don’t believe this church is in a healthy position themselves. While the church finally exercised disciplinary action with Haggard when forced, I do not believe they have shown themselves to be able to move through prevention and education, or shown themselves ready to move past moralizing, sympathizing and patronizing. In Rev. Boyd speaking up prior to media time this young man is taking, (pre-empting his voice) the church leadership is telling the rest of us they have not yet learned authentic power, choosing instead to exhibit the power dynamics of denial, collusion and abuse they hid from for years.

Update: Boyd today:

He told members who attended the 9 a.m. service that he has known about he victim who’s come forward since he became senior pastor at New Life. “We gave him the counseling and help he needed in his life.” He adds in 2007, the young man decided to sue the church. 

 Boyd added that six-figure payout was insurance money, not tithing from members of the church.

Update: Grant tells his story. 9news: 

Grant says the church paid him $180,000 to keep quiet but told KRDO-TV he’s speaking out now because he doesn’t want Haggard to get back into a position of power.

“I really felt the church staff did what they could to get me to move to a different city, to get me to stop going to church, to make these promises to do whatever they could to help, but their main focus was to cover it up,” Grant told KRDO-TV. “They think Ted Haggard is not a harm to the community, and I really think they’re wrong. They’re dead wrong.”