From The Kneeler, The ‘nice’ lie of ministry:
Having incurable cancer has definitely changed me.
I am, for example becoming increasingly publicly intolerant of those who either knowingly or unknowingly abuse the Gospel by playing on the genuine Christian care and concern of others in order to get what they want. You know the sort I mean God, they have all the religious language and Bible quotes to hand about love and sin and Satan.. and they use them to manipulate others to achieve their own aims regardless of the cost to others – the main weapon in their arsenal being religious guilt.
I grieve for the hurt that they cause others, for the damage they do to faith and the lost opportunities for others to grow in grace with you. Nonetheless, it still feels like a lack of grace on my part to be so intolerant.
I can and do feel considerable compassion for such people, whether lay or ordained. I can see how desperate they must be, and I think it is terribly sad that they only tend to have a relationship with the Church and not with you. I  genuinely grieve for their plight, for their self-centred obsessions with status and power, their need to be needed, or their need to hide (even from themselves) their real insecurities and failings.  Yes – they are worthy of my prayer, and you know that we have talked often about them. But since being diagnosed, it seems that my compassion is no longer enough to stem the flood of anger I feel at the real hurt and harm that they cause.
via: connexions
My church had a paster from Haiti visit us this past wednesday night. He shared a verse with us, and if I may I would like to pass it on for encouragment. Jeremiah 29: 11-13, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” Pastor emphesised, that with our hearts we needed to seek him, and we will find him.
Pastor has much love for Jesus Christ. It was as if he walked out of the pages of the New Testament. There is much hurt in Haiti all around him. His wife was beaten and left for dead, just for being a christian. Children who lived with them beaten too. But he is still preaching about Jesus.
Be encouraged, there are Pastor’s who are true shepard’s for the Lord Jesus. There are many a missionary who gives up everything, even their lives, just to spread the truth of the gospel.
I pray God’s peace and love fill you every moment. That you have the Father’s unfailing grace guide you every step of the way. Amen.
This article hit home – I cringe when I think back over the years I thought I was serving God only to recognize that God wasn’t being served at all, just me.
I cringe at some of God’s words that I glibly used to try to ‘save’ a soul or comfort one.
I cringe at my attitude of judgement for those who were not like me and who chose evil. I was a Pharisee.
I cringe at the lies I believed – that depression was something that should be prayed out of someone, that medicine for it was not the first line of defense. How they must have suffered.
I cringe at the worship sessions where we sang choruses over and over not knowing we were giving in to self-hypnosis, thinking we were honouring God with our words.
It is with shame I believed that ‘revival’ was real, that miracles were in great supply. I still believe in revival and miracles, I no longer expect them as my right.
I rejoice and am humbled by the day when it all came to an end and God, who is love, showed me what He was. It is not, was not, and never will be any of the above.