Tim Hortons Blenheim – public display of affection

Once this story hit the internet this week, all heck broke loose. It’s become a confusing story about reactions.

Tim Horton’s issued a statement on Facebook apologizing to the two women (the assistant manager supposedly said if they didn’t leave in five minutes the police would be called). Tim Horton’s also stated the women were welcome to come back.

“The guests’ behaviour went beyond public displays of affection and was making other guests feel uncomfortable. The management has apologized to Riley and Patricia and invite them back to their restaurant. We apologize if (they) were offended by the misunderstanding that occurred at our Blenheim restaurant last month on behalf of the owners and management. It was not the manager’s intention to offend or target anyone based on their sexual orientation.”

It’s like the game of telephone, the more this story gets passed around online the more it gets embellished and speculated on, the more loaded the language becomes and the more people react.

The three principal players, Riley Duckworth, Patricia Pattenden and Eric Revie are not media savvy and the explosion of attention is not something most people would handle well. The women and the minister were at Tim Horton’s with their families in September.

I don’t know who to believe. Sometimes a GLBT issue is not a GLBT issue. Sometimes it is not about race, faith/religion or orientation.

Duckworth and Pattenden were shocked and hurt by the way Tim Hortons management addressed them. They believe they were confronted by management because they were lesbians. The apology by the national chain and the local management doesn’t appear to be enough.

Revie says he has received hate mail, phone calls and threats.

Protesters are planning to hold a sit-in Thursday at Blenheim’s only Tim Hortons over the restaurant’s actions.

“I’m a little concerned,” Revie said. “We will have people at the church facility if anyone comes to try and do damage to the building.”

The father of four said he also fears for the safety of his children, and added he has been in constant contact with police.

Alphabet Community Centre is planning a protest/kiss-in at Blenhiems Tim Hortons today at 4 pm to show Tim Hortons what some families look like and to show GLBTQ neighbours and visitors they are welcome in the Chatham/Kent region. Some activists have talked to the principles and have decided not to participate in a planned demonstration at Tim Hortons.

The dispute boiled over after the couple contacted Michelle Boyce, head of Alphabet Community Centre, a London, Ont., gay and transgendered group, to help them file a complaint with the Ontario Human Rights Commission.

Ms. Boyce’s account of the couple’s story on Facebook — including a description of how the church group held a 15-person prayer vigil for the women in the Tim Hortons parking lot that Rev. Revie said was actually just parents standing around chatting — elicited a huge outcry of support from as far away as California and prompted local organizers to plan a protest at the coffee shop on Thursday that had garnered more than 500 online supporters by Monday afternoon.

Mr. Williams, 21, supported the protest against the coffee shop until he spoke with the store manager and had a half-hour chat with the reverend. The two bonded over their shared history of being bullied as youngsters — Mr. Williams as a gay man from nearby Tilbury, who often hid in Tim Hortons to feel safe after being chased from his school, and Rev. Revie, who said he was bullied because he has a lisp and red hair.

Mary Van Speybroeck, who is transgendered, started a petition against Tim Hortons after hearing the women’s story, but later removed it after talking to Rev. Revie. “For me the credibility is gone,” said the Kitchener woman. “As a member of the LGBTQ community, I’d like equal rights as much as anyone, but not at the expense of honesty.”

Was this a display of an inappropriate display in a public place or an act of discrimination? Does this particular Tim Hortons have a history of discrimination against gays?

I don’t know. The truth, which has become blurred and lost in the telling and retelling is probably somewhere in-between. That communication was ineffective and hurtful is not in dispute, nor is there dispute that subsequent communication has also been hurtful. Offense has been taken on both sides, trenches are dug, and stereotypes have been re-inforced online.

It is too bad Duckworth, Paddenten and Revie weren’t able to get together over a cup of coffee at Timmies and talk this out.

Update: The protest was peaceful.