While Canadian media was part of a blitz of coverage about abuse allegations at Prairie Bible Institute, evangelical media in Canada has been silent, until now. ChristianWeek is finally covering the story. For the most part the coverage is fair, using one of their writers for the main story and a response piece by the managing director of Prairie Bible Institute. There is nothing in ChristianWeek from abuse survivors, although other media in Canada has reached out. The President of PBI has his email included in the response piece so that anyone can contact him directly, which is a small step toward the openness that PBI says it wants to show toward anyone concerned about abuse which has occurred at the school since it’s inception.
Let’s get real, neither PBI nor abuse survivors have media or pr skills. That’s fine, messy, but fine. Abuse is messy, speaking up and speaking through is messy. There are dueling Facebook pages and a lot of poor communication between those who are asking for accountability and those who feel their former or current school is being maligned. Unfortunately this is a common problem when a religious institution makes the news. Communication has changed, and I believe for the better. Social media such as Facebook and blogs give those who have not been heard a place to cry out, whether it be about financial impropriety in a church, theological or personnel issues not known to the average pew sitter, abuse, or the uncovering of policies or behaviors which are unhealthy for the whole.
While statements from PBI are a start, they do not tell the full story, they can’t. Most of the media coverage has been centred on one of the moderators of the Facebook page, a US citizen named Linda Fossen who wrote a book about her experience at PBI, and who has been trying for five years to get PBI to listen to her and to other former attendees at the school who as of yet are not going public. Many have only found each other over the past few years, many have only recently found the We Were Prairie Bible School Kids page. Focusing on a spokesperson is all media can do, when trust has been so irrevocably broken, when those who have been wounded do not (and should not) trust publicly offered ‘reconciliation’ by the very institution where their lives were changed, I can fully understand why Prairie Bible Institute is not getting it. I’ll get to what the abuse survivors are asking for in a moment, and what PBI is saying they are prepared to offer.
When I was 13 I ran away from home. It was the first of several flights I took to get away from an abusive environment. It’s a long story, to shorten it, I got beaten for a remark I made about something spiritual regarding my adoptive dad. I’d had enough and off I went.
The police picked me up. I’ll never forget the plainclothes youth division officer assigned to drive me home. I got the usual ‘people are worried speech’. He was soft spoken and even in my fatigue, hunger and fear I knew he cared. My hypervigilence was in high gear. He practically begged me to tell him if I was being harmed. He told me that there were things he and others could do to protect me, all I had to do was say I was being hurt. I don’t recall if my 13-year-old self knew that he knew I was abused, I only know that as an adult looking back. The school knew, neighbours knew. I couldn’t get the words out to him. Nothing in me believed there was a way out, I couldn’t comprehend safety, as much as I wanted to believe him, to escape, there was no way out for me. I was terrified for my siblings, I was convinced they’d be left behind and I’d wind up in a foster home and in continued danger. So I said nothing. In my child mind I also needed to protect my adoptive parents. I remember wanting to bolt again when we got in the driveway and a firm hand landing on my shoulder. Mom met us at the door, and that was the only time in my life I saw her differ to authority. The officer told her I was a good kid and that I did not deserve punishment for my clumsy attempt at survival and that he did not want to be back or hear that there were repercussions. I will never forget the sadness in his eyes. That night (excuse the language) I got the shit beat out of me. Again. I had the officers card, I could have called, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t.
I’m an adult, with good therapy behind me, I sought out qualified professionals and got the help I needed. Compassionate people have been a gift in my life, and while they were not professionals, they had a skill set and a heart to walk beside me when I needed them. I have a good life, and yet writing that paragraph makes me saddened and even fearful as I shake. The reality is I will always have trust issues. So will the silent survivors and the currently vocal survivors who are asking PBI to step up. Like me they are adults and I stand with them. It does not matter that PBI has concerned people willing to listen and help where they can. I believe the motivations of most PBI personnel are pure, their qualifications are not. The culture at the school is not, even as people fight to change it.
The school’s position has been one of openness and transparency. Phil Callaway, staff kid-turned-author and editor of the school’s Servant magazine, says, “We can’t be on the warpath against abuses around the world and turn a blind eye to what may have happened here, even if it was decades ago.”
Mark has been adamant that Prairie must not take a position of covering up our flaws and pledges the school’s full cooperation should any RCMP investigations be opened. “For those who have been injured, we want them to feel loved and welcome, but most importantly to find reconciliation and healing. A few individuals have approached us to share heart-breaking stories of abuses that happened in their homes and in our community, but we’ve also heard stories of incredible redemption.”
When asked about the reputation of the school and if the current media attention will tarnish what has been perceived as “squeaky-clean” image, Mark is quick to respond. “It’s not about the school or its reputation. God can take care of that. This is about people finding the help they need and being able to move on with their lives and hopefully their relationship with God.” Maxwell says he is researching neutral parties who could be available to facilitate reconciliation.
Prairie Bible Institute has designated a board member to liaison with the school and abuse survivors, most of who are understandably remaining silent at this time. Regardless of how much the current administration is willing to address physical, mental, emotional, sexual and spiritual abuse which has occurred at the institution over the past, I respectfully posit they are on the right track admitting a qualified third-party is needed. I don’t believe PBI can afford the group G.R.A.C.E which abuse survivors are asking for. On the other hand, I don’t know if they can afford not to. I don’t know if G.R.A.C.E. professionals can operate cross border. While I commend PBI for exploring its options to use a group other than G.R.A.C.E. , things do not look promising.
Fossen is demanding that Prairie bring in an American non-profit group called GRACE (Godly Response To Abuse in the Christian Environment) to investigate. Prairie has refused, stating it prefers to cooperate fully and openly with police and even the media.
But nor has it rejected any third-party involvement. Maxwell says two “prominent” Canadian churches and a church in South Carolina, whose pastor is a Prairie alumnus, have all volunteered to act as mediators.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if we ended up going with a third party that looks like that,” he says. “We’re working our way through that right now.”
The church from South Carolina. Oh wow. I’d run for the hills, and not Three Hills. The church pastor who romped around the We Were Prairie Bible School Kids Facebook page doesn’t have a clue. I wouldn’t let that man walk my dog. Well, yeah, I would, but I would not allow the man to assist me regarding abuse issues. I know he means well, he has raised abused foster kids, but he has amply demonstrated online is not equipped to deal with the complexities of adult survivors of physical, sexual, emotional, mental and spiritual abuse and the institution the harm occurred at. He got my back up and I have no dog in this fight.
An alumni suggestion that Peacemakers be used caused me to laugh out loud. I’m not even going there, this group deals with church conflicts in a rigid, Calvinistic manner, this type of conflict resolution model is not suited for abuse survivors and appropriate institutional response.
Why aren’t the two Canadian churches which stepped up named in the ChristianWeek piece? An offer is an offer, and if PBI wants transparency, than name the churches so abuse survivors can research the qualifications of the church staff offering help. Abuse survivors are clear, they have done their research and have asked for professional help, not well meaning help.
It is a mistake to focus only on one of the two moderators/spokespersons of the abuse survivors Facebook page. One is in the US, and I believe the other spokesperson is in Canada. Catherine Darnell has been a quiet force on the page, while Linda Fossen has outlined the requests, collected stories, and who been a lightening rod for the anger, misunderstandings and flack. She is also the one who has dealt with media. I’ve seen qualified counsellors and professionals from the US and Canada join the Facebook group – God bless them. Communication via the internet is a necessary and safe step. A first step since PBI administration took this issue to media with ongoing difficulty communicating with the very people they need to assist. The attempts at communication are understandably messy and this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint. With the myriad of emotions, attack can and will be perceived where there is no attack. That’s where the third party pros come in. PBI administration is going to stumble, they have done so a fair bit over the past few years Fossen and her co-moderator have communicated with PBI administration, and while they seem to have a clearer idea of what is needed, the process is stuck. As much as PBI administration may have a business like mentality of wanting to move this process forward, people don’t fit into agendas. Even if this discussion wasn’t public, sides would be taken, drawn and entrenched. In the public and private communication assumptions need to be addressed. From Richard Peachy:
In reading various comments on the various group sites which have sprung up in response to the recent accounts of past abuse at PBI it has been dismaying to observe the clearly false assumptions that are reflected in peoples responses to one another. These assumptions are doing untold damage both to the process of bringing forth truth, and to the individuals involved. What kind of assumptions am I referring to? The assumption that:
• those that refer to them as “allegations” or “stories” are assuming the accounts are false
• those who refer to them as “accounts” are assuming they are true
• those who refer to the people bringing these account forward as “survivors” are “against PBI”
• those who refer to them as “accusers” are “for PBI”
• those who speak favourably about PBI are interested in cover up
• those who speak unfavourably about PBI are interested destroying the school
• those standing with survivors are interested only in the purest forms of justice
• those standing with the school are interested only in the purest forms of justice
• most if not all accounts of past abuse now coming forward were not known to leaders at PBI
• most if not all of the accounts coming forward were known and covered up by leadership
• that the current leaders responses to these allegations are a continuation of a legacy of cover up with little or no care for survivors
• that the current leaders actions are correct and the reasonable legal response in every way and clearly demonstrate care for survivors
• Those speaking “against PBI” are enemies of all that is good
• Those speaking “in favour of PBI” are enemies of all that is good
Those are just a few. We must be truthful enough to admit that we don’t know the motives of others. We attribute motives to others actions and words blindly and unfairly. It is almost next to impossible to enter into productive dialogue with people we do not know or trust. The medium of on line chat creates direct dialogue between people while maintaining relational and physical distance. When controversy is engaged in using this type of medium it seems to actually promote further distrust and misunderstanding as people attribute motive without the context of body language, circumstance, history, or character. Personally I have little hope that this message will be understood or received well, but I do want to appeal that at least people will recognize some of their own false assumptions, the damage they are doing by reacting and responding based on those assumptions, and seek other venues in which to rally support for the individuals and causes which they are trying to protect.
What do abuse survivors want?
They want safety, and that means qualified skilled people who are not connected to the ground and mindset where they were harmed. The survivors are asking for G.R.A.C.E., which has set the model and the standard for investigation and recommendations.
They want trust, which cannot be promoted in media.
They have the RCMP standing by, knowing that most of their investigations will not conclude with justice. Reporting is a step some need to take.
If charges can be laid against any individual, this is a step which must be pursued.
They want clear acknowledgement, confession and institutional reform.
They want these core reforms put in place to protect others who may go through Prairie, they want a change in the core culture so no child is harmed again.
When needed, individuals deserve qualified therapy. In Canada and the UK, therapy can be covered financially, the US and other countries are quite another matter.
They want understanding, which means those attempting to help even at the fringes are educated in different forms of abuse.
They do not need public clumsiness like this:
”If there’s that much smoke, you’d think there must be a fire somewhere—and we couldn’t find it,” Maxwell says.
grrrrr. I wouldn’t open my mouth to Mr. Maxwell if I had been harmed at Prairie, and I’m about as healed as I’m going to be. While the statement is true, there is a profound lack of understanding of the emotional buttons I’m sure are pushed. I don’t blame anyone silently standing by and not speaking up to PBI at this stage.
I’ll end with this. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. When these survivors were kids, no one heard them. They suffered in silence. Some are are finding their voice and finding each other. Stop patronizing, preaching, bible thumping; stop fixing, stop inflaming. Listen. Listening starts with ‘how can we help and what do you need’?
And ChristianWeek, you represent Canadian evangelical media. Good on you for finally writing something up. How about publishing an abuse survivor story? They are finding their voices. It’s a start.
Update: As quickly as the feistier of the two Facebook moderators sent a letter to ChristianWeek, the letter was put online. Kudos for the professionalism and care of the ChristianWeek team. Fossen points out the verbal attacks by some alumni while also addressing the articles. PBI has no control over these alumni and they aren’t going to stop, regardless of how many people point out how hurtful their words are. The critical alumni were exposed to the same Fundamentalist spiritual abuse in the black/white/us/them environment at PBI, and mistake loyalty for love. When a father with a newborn is told he was doing the work of Satan for asking for hot water in the PBI student housing…
Update: A Mea culpa from a Calgary Herald writer.
What’s important now is that the truth comes out. Many PBI loyalists are fiercely defending the school and demonizing its critics, sticking their heads as deep in the prairie soil as possible. Some vilify as “negative” anybody who has a painful story to tell about Prairie. I want no part of that effort, and it makes me queasy to think I may have contributed to it through my words.
It remains a mystery to me how christian organizations can continue to get away with, excuse and countenance abuse, physical and sexual.
This is a story that is now centuries old yet somehow every time it is told anew we are informed in sanctimonious tones that it must be dealt with as if such a thing had never happened before in the history of the world.
I would relate my own story but I’m fonder of my privacy than I am of offering up my biography to the assassins for christ.
Here we are in the 21st century and spirituality and religious thought in most of the modern world is still dominated by 3 ancient desert cults that abhor women, loathe nature, fear humanity itself, detest biology and glorify death.
For all that I admire your restraint and compassion I also wish you could come to your senses and renounce this hideous belief system.
Moving sharing, BD. Thank you.
@withheld Very well said!
It’s called accountability & scruples
It is John, and I don’t think Mark Maxwell has the skills or experience, nor are we seeing that anyone from PBI is up to speed and capable. I believe he is sincere, just woefully unequipped.
PBI has been a law unto itself in the past 90 years, the isolation is no longer going to work if the place is to survive.
The siege mentality is being fostered, whether intentionally or not. http://prairie.edu/page.aspx?pid=369
Two execs got up and read emails of support. Nothing wrong with support, but they made sure titles were included. I can appreciate students are scared, if they are not hand held and encouraged, the school won’t have a future.
This is framed as attack. No misinformation was corrected, survivors are named as enemy with the exception of one email which acknowledge them as victims. Victims like Darlene, Linda, Ben, Maribeth, Elaine, Carman, Scott, Donna, Steve…
It’s heartbreaking, I fear PBI is going to protect the ‘ministry’ and bury these ‘enemies.’ A double mindedness is being communicated and it doesn’t look good.
Over on the Facebook page, someone shared an email from the PBI President. Mark Maxwell used what he has learned in business – an offer to let an abuse survivor confront the abuser. Works in the boardroom when money is changing hands, but not as a gamble with peoples lives. He didn’t bother to find out the guy had been dead five years. He also was completely unaware of Carmen Wesley’s story which ran on Global TV. That is poor management, why isn’t he asking his IT people to pay attention, compile information and brief him? The board liaison doesn’t seem to have that mandate, and probably doesn’t have the skills or initiative. To pass photocopies of FB to the RCMP and call that reporting may be meaningful to this board, but displays another level of lack of understanding to anyone watching and certainly to abuse survivors.
People aren’t a financial acquisition, this requires a level of accountability I don’t see at this time. It also requires scruples which places peoples needs over the needs of an institution which has operated with a lot fewer than many may want to acknowledge.