North Carolina father Tommy Jordan, who works in IT, was not impressed with a FB posting by his 15 year old, and responded with a video which has had over 6.5 million hits in 3 days.
Dad posted this yesterday afternoon on his FB page.
For those that wondered, commented, criticized, and just in general wanted to know:
My daughter came through it fine.Yes, she’s in trouble, and yes she’s grounded, but that doesn’t mean every moment of her life has to be miserable. She’s going to come to terms with the changes that will be present for a while; no TV privileges, no Internet, etc.
In the meantime, once the initial anger passed, she sat with me reviewing some of the comments that have come in via Facebook and YouTube. One person even suggested collecting the shell casings and auctioning them on eBay. I said I’d do it if it would help contribute to her college fund! When I told her about it, she thought a minute, got a funny calculating expression on her face and said, “in that case you should shoot my phone too. We can use more bullets and I’ll go half-sies with ya on it! It’s not like I’m going to need it any time soon. And I can use the money we get to buy a new one.”
While the whole point of this story isn’t funny, what is funny to me is how weak some people out there think kids are. Our kids are as strong as we help them to be. My daughter took a horrible day in her life, had her crying fit, then got over it, accepted her punishment, and hasn’t let it (or people’s comments) destroy her strength. I don’t get any credit for that. She’s strong and able to overcome almost anything life throws at her.
Since this unsuspectingly threw her into the limelight much more strongly than either of us intended, I asked her if she wanted to make her own response video, and told her I’d let her do it if she wanted to. She doesn’t like being in front of the camera, so she declined, but I’ve told her if she wants to write a response or post a video response, I’d be OK with it. It’s only fair considering the viral nature of the whole thing. So far she’s not really interested. Quite frankly it seems she’s gotten bored of it much faster than the general public has. If that changes I’ll post it here.
Frankly, I think the parents not only overreacted to a fairly typical teenager moment, but thinking about it further, inappropriately invaded her privacy. What’s the difference between father reading a “blocked” post on Facebook or reading her personal diary that she keeps in her dresser? Very little, and both represent a significant invasion of privacy with little or no justification.
By the time a child reaches their teen years, a parent better have damn good reasons for reading a diary or journal … and they’d better be well prepared to see a few things that they don’t like. This father overreacted to a situation, and probably did more long term damage to his relationship with his daughter than he realizes.
I don’t agree with the strong adjectives, or cursing if you will, that this dad uses to explain his daughter. However, I can understand the concerns over lazy behavior, when his daughter does not contribute to household chores. As a parent, if my child were to disrespect me behind my back and I found out, then I would put my foot down. Especially, if as a parent I paid all the bills and put a roof over the childs head.
I think the days of a journel and diary are not what they use to be. Puppy love for a young teenager, has turned into sending graphic messages that build up to graphic pictures. I think as parents dealing with these issues concerning the cell phones, internet and the like should be monitored and the adolesant too. After all, if something goes wrong the parent will foot the bill.
If a young adult can’t demonstrate trust and responsiblity to good parents, it’s time for the parents to use tough love.
That’s nuts wasting a good laptop like that.
I suppose that the father had bought it for the daughter some time in the past and now he’s destroyed it.
That’s a waste of something good.
If he did not want his daughter to have it anymore why didn’t he just give it to someone who will appreciate it?
Using a gun to solve problems
What kind of example is he setting for his daughter?
What if the daughter follows this example?
I agree John. I’m sure some good use could have been found for that laptop.
Well I am really surprised that Christians are so taken back by this father’s actions. You of all people should know that honouring one’s parents is very important to god – it’s not an option – and if you were an Israelite living around 2000BC, you would be commanded by god to take much more drastic measures than what this guy did to bring correction and direction to his daughter.
Let’s see, Exodus 21:17 states,
“Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death”.
Yeah, that’s right, DEATH. Kind of makes the who “invading a kid’s privacy” thing seem miniscule doesn’t it? Oh and just so that wasn’t clear the first time, god says it again in Leviticus 20:9,
“Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Because they have cursed their father or mother, their blood will be on their own head.”
And this one in Deuteronomy,
“If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father and mother, who does not heed them when they discipline him, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his town at the gate of that place. They shall say to the elders of his town, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” Then all the men of the town shall stone him to death. So you shall purge the evil from your midst; and all Israel will hear, and be afraid.(Deut. 21:18-21)
And the numerous verses in Proverbs that speak of beating your kid into submission, to cleanse the evil out of him like this one,
“Do not withhold discipline from your children; if you beat them with a rod, they will not die. If you beat them with the rod, you will save their lives from Sheol.”
(Prov. 23:13-14) And Proverbs 20:30
“Blows that wound cleanse away evil; beatings make clean the innermost parts.”
And in 2 Kings 2:23-24 god even sent some bears to rip apart a bunch of kids who happened to be teasing the prophet Elisha about his bald head.
No, I don’t think the Christian god has too much tolerance for children behaving badly. So if I were a Christian, one who believes 2Tim 3:16 that says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” don’t be so hasty to judge this man. For that would make you a hypocrite.
And by the way, a laptop is a material thing. It is just a thing. It can be replaced. A life lesson learned on the dawn of adulthood, is priceless.
Couldn’t the dad have grounded her, taken away her laptop, then had this same conversation with the same results? Is there any doubt she would have cried and been upset, then calmed down and been able to talk about it?
The example is when angry and upset, take out a gun, shoot something, destroy something of value.
I wonder what dad would have done to daughter, if when she was mad, she kicked over the table and broke a lamp? Would he be OK with that violent outburst?
Sounds like the Dad was the one that was angry, upset, had a fit…and then calmed down enough to talk about it. Which one is the kid? Bad, bad, example.
This is a reply to help clarify the”Marina”comment above on
February 12, 2012 at 6:00 am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear “Marina”
Your comment appears to imply that you are not a Christian, and that you are challenging believers of the bible. To help clarify your stance on the subject of discipling children…
1. Would you put Hannah to death as in Exodus 21:17 of the bible?
“Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death”.
2. Would you beat Hannah until blood ran down her head as in Leviticus 20:9?
“Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death. Because they have cursed their father or mother, their blood will be on their own head.”
3. Would you stone Hannah to death as in Deuteronomy 21:18-21?
Then all the men of the town shall stone him to death. So you shall purge the evil from your midst; and all Israel will hear, and be afraid.
4. Would you beat Hannah with a rod, as in Prov. 20:30 & 23:13-14
“Blows that wound cleanse away evil; beatings make clean the innermost parts.”
5. And as in 2 Kings 2:23-24 would you be part of ripping apart a bunch of kids who happened to be teasing a prophet about his bald head?
The question & a judgment you made about Christians being hypocrites are valid yet there is a crucial omission in your comment below. Perhaps you purposely omitted an important teaching. You wrote: “I don’t think the Christian god has too much tolerance for children behaving badly. So if I were a Christian, one who believes 2Tim 3:16 that says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” don’t be so hasty to judge this man. For that would make you a hypocrite.”
Respectfully, your above comment Marina omits Jesus Christ’s teachings of forgiveness & humilty.
And just so you and others here can know, I am a believer in the powerful teachings of Jesus Christ (and Buddha and other enlightenment beings that promote peace & spiritual freedom) & I say “No way.” to corporal or harsh punishments.
Peace be you and all of us.
No “PassingThrough”, I would not do any of those things because I have much higher moral principles and sense of justice than the god of the bible, who, as you do know, is the same god in the old and new testament. I am a much more humane being, with a higher sense
Why do you suppose the commandments and intolerance of the god of the bible reflects the debasement and brutality of the age in which the bible was written? I’ll tell you: the god of the bible was an invention of the people of the age. His methods of resolving problems were as primitive as the people who lived in the time the word of god originated. God does change. But God changes as people and civilization changes. As civilization progresses, society implements laws that protect rather than harm and law makers make punishments that fit the crimes instead of punishments that appease the blood thirsty masochistic jealous being that is the bible god.
You can not ignore the old testament injunctions on how god commands you to deal with rebellious children and at the very least it should cause you to wonder about the veracity of the text you call “holy”. No one or no thing should be allowed a free pass to commit evil acts like drowning babies and stoning to death our children, let alone be worshiped. Christians refuse to acknowledge that the god they worship, the same god of the new testament, is an evil murderer whose precepts and judgements would never be tolerated in modern western culture today.
No “PassingThrough”, I would not do any of those things because I have much higher moral principles and sense of justice than the god of the bible, who, as you do know, is the same god in the old and new testament. I am a much more humane being, with a higher sense of justice than this almighty, all-knowing creator god.
Why do you suppose the commandments and intolerance of the god of the bible reflects the debasement and brutality of the age in which the bible was written? I’ll tell you: the god of the bible was an invention of the people of the age. His methods of resolving problems were as primitive as the people who lived in the time the word of god originated. God does change. But God changes as people and civilization changes. As civilization progresses, society implements laws that protect rather than harm and law makers make punishments that fit the crimes instead of punishments that appease the blood thirsty masochistic jealous being that is the bible god.
You can not ignore the old testament injunctions on how god commands you to deal with rebellious children and at the very least it should cause you to wonder about the veracity of the text you call “holy”. No one or no thing should be allowed a free pass to commit evil acts like drowning babies and stoning to death our children, let alone be worshiped. Christians refuse to acknowledge that the god they worship, the same god of the new testament, is an evil murderer whose precepts and judgements would never be tolerated in modern western culture today.
The parents who disagree with this, most likely have spoiled rotten entitled children. Until you are 18 I will read whatever of yours I want. Respect is earned, end of story. When you allow children to believe they have authority, when they do not, you create a generation unable to understand their role in the world and unable to succeed. For those who think this is un-Christian, you crack me up. I love how Christians seem oblivious to their own Bible.
Proverbs 13:24
King James Version (KJV)
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Exodus 21:15-17
King James Version (KJV)
15And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.
17And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.
The parents who disagree with this, most likely have spoiled rotten entitled children. Until you are 18 I will read whatever of yours I want. Respect is earned, end of story.
When you are talking about teenagers, respect starts to become a two way street. I’m not saying you don’t discipline your children, what I’m getting at is the father in this situation not only violated basic privacy, but also went so far overboard about it that he has arguably compromised what little relationship trust might have existed.
Not invading your child’s privacy is an important part of the growing up process; similarly, not overreacting to a situation is also important. What kind of example did this man give his child? He basically said that violence and destruction of property is an appropriate punishment – I’m sorry, but that will just breed resentment and hostility.
You are jumping to conclusions without knowing nothing of the bigger family dynamics at play, MgS. You don’t know the history, the relationships. You are only assuming that “respect” in this family has been a one way street. Unfortunately you also don’t seem to see the passion demonstrated by the father in the video. I doubt it was easy or enjoyable for him to do what he did.
We are not talking about an 11 or 12 year old here. If the girl is big enough to say those things about her parents on a public network, then she is big enough to understand why her father acted thusly and big enough to accept the repercussions of her actions as deemed by her parents and learn the lesson. If she chooses to be resentful and hostile toward her parents, then that is her choice and she is at the age where she will soon be making many of her own choices independent of her parents. Parents need not lower their standards and expectations of behaviour and handle their adolescents/young adult children with kit-gloves for fear of the backlash.
And above all, for goodness sake, let parents be parents and do for the children whose best interests they have at heart, what they feel is the best type of intervention to correct problem behaviour and curb what could be a much larger problem some day. There’s been far too many “arm-chair” parents who like to sit back and rip apart the well intended actions of concerned and loving parents doing what they in their best judgement is the best course of action, because it seems too mean spirited.
*Note: I’m not condoning any type of physical, verbal, mental, emotional or sexual abuse or exploitation, the likes of which are not the actions of loving parents toward their children.
Well, if Dad and Mommy has to make a to do list for their daughter, because she forgets things, it appears that her short term memory is not responding without the list. Maybe he was trying shock therapy?
Hmmm……..no not shock therapy. Oh yes, those teen years. Those can be quite trying sometimes. Hmmm……..
Lol.
http://blogs.canada.com/2012/02/15/facebook-dad-says-hed-shoot-his-daughters-laptop-again/
@Marina: I fully saw the “passion” in the father. I understand that I don’t have the full dynamics of the family at my disposal.
That still doesn’t change my opinion that the parents went WAY overboard in their reaction.
Further, it does not change my opinion that the father’s actions constitute a violation of basic privacy and property to such an extent that I would expect that what little trust may have existed between parents and child has just been seriously damaged.
Sorry, but the parents blew it, IMO.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mevxenJ6Mtc&feature=endscreen
Just being a little informal. Hope this family can find it in there hearts to mend their ways, and keep it together.
The father snapped over this
I think that the whole family dynamics here could undergo some very good conflict resolution tech-niches.
Stick to topic brano – BD
He got his socks wrong!!!! OMG … He got his socks wrong!!!!!
http://bigthink.com/ideas/42587
@Brano .. Troll