10 Rules for Social Media Engagement

1. Pray. Bring Christ into the relationship at the very beginning, and let your prayer have more of the ‘Speak, Lord, your servant is listening’ than ‘Lord, open my lips that I may declare your praise …’

2. Listen. Engage with others, don’t preach at them. Know when to be quiet. It’s O.K. to have nothing to say!
3. Respect. Don’t abuse anyone or vent your anger online. It will scare off some people and make others feel uncomfortable in your presence.

4. Encourage. Give help when you can; affirm, compliment, if appropriate.

5. Spend time: you can’t build good relationships in just a few minutes. You have to be serious about wanting to build a relationship and prepared to commit yourself.

6. Share: not only what you are doing, but also what others are doing. This particularly applies to Twitter — don’t use it just for self-advertisement!

7. Be welcoming: you need people who disagree with you.

8. Be grateful: whingers are not very attractive, nor are those who take things for granted.

9. Be yourself: truthfulness is essential. ‘You’ online should be the same person as ‘you’ offline.

10. Love. Like prayer, it’s obvious, but unless you pray, unless you love those with whom you come into contact online, you’re wasting your time as well as theirs.

from iBenedictines

via: connexions

About Bene Diction

Have courage for the great sorrows, And patience for the small ones. And when you have laboriously accomplished your tasks, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.
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35 Responses to 10 Rules for Social Media Engagement

  1. Fred Whaples says:

    Bene, you really should title this blog “ten suggestions” or “Ten Good Ideas that I have personally violated at every opportunity” or perhaps “Ten Concepts that I would never live up to but hope everyone else does”. Your blog was at my frist glance months ago tragically misguided, however as I have continued this journey I realize that you are very clear and calculated at every mistruth and instigation you publish. Whether you are out to destroy innocent people or reinforce the lies against all that is good, your agenda is clear. Any ounce of integrity, true jounrnalist investigation, or the above stated “ten rules” are non-existent in your posts. In the end, your own involvement and position in propogating matters that destroy the innocence of others will do far more harm to you and your causes than my thoughts and opinon about you. Maybe, just maybe, you are under enough conviction from God that you have posted this blog and are at least considering the countless times you have personally violated it. May God help it to be so.

  2. Interested Observer says:

    You are absolutely correct, Fred. I do believe that Bene is no longer attempting the pretense of being objective; but I find her implicit support of some comments and condemnation of others to be incompatible with the claim that she is a “follower of Christ”, and with the statement of faith that she links to.

  3. Bene D says:

    I’m sorry you feel that way Fred.

    While I have your attention, did the money you and your church raised for abuse survivors get sent to PBI?
    I’m not referring to the Advent Fund, I’m referring to the monies you said you and your church raised for PBI survivors.

  4. Fred Whaples says:

    Oh misguided Bene, you have never had my attention nor respect. I have no interest, desire, nor need, in answering you on any matter since your ability to be honest and upright has proven impossible. Should you repent of the mistruths and malicious treatment you have participated in and reflect the decency of a true Christ follower then people who have actually assisted those in need with resources requested might just share more with you. Answering your banter does not interest me. Exposure of your malicious agenda and lack of truth absolutely does. However I will continue the majority of that quest via avenues you might soon encounter unpleasantly. Good day.

  5. Bene D says:

    I’m sorry you feel that way Fred.

    What’s the status of the Concord Police Department investigation into your online activities?

  6. Bene D says:

    Before I sign off Fred, you’ve always been free to email corrections to any error.
    That’s been your choice not to, I’m offering you another option.

    Lay out what lack of truth or mistruth needs to be corrected here in the comment section.
    Every error of fact you’ve found here at BDBO for whatever facts you deem wrong.
    State your case – you have the floor.

  7. These are good rules and I see where I can improve. Thanks for raising the bar Benediction.

  8. Fred Whaples says:

    What a great opportunity you have allowed me to expose the overwhelming amount of mistruths you have posted. I would love to share the truth on a myriad of your distasteful and lie-filled blogs but let’s start with the most basic and simplistic, who are you?

    While you enjoy outting others at every turn, and you seemingly desire full disclosure and truth, you remain anonymous. One has to wonder why this is? Would the knowledge of who you actually are, undermine the stance you often take?

    Would the transparency you push upon others when applied to you cause damage to the position you portray?

    Why is it so important that you remain hidden behind a veil?

    Why would your passion in exposing others be not applied back to yourself unless at the very core.. at the very beginniong.. at the very epicenter … lying and misrepresentation is who you really are?

    See Bene, there is no reason to expose any further mistruth if you are in fact just a lie to begin with. So Bene, prove that you are not a lie. Prove you are not a fake character and front. Prove your interest in full disclosure. Prove that you want truth. Prove the original mistrepresentation.. then we can begin with all the others.

    Honestly, if you can’t expose your identity with integrity and full disclosure, then you and your blog should be discredited and labelled for what it appears to be a big bag of hot air and lies…..Until you begin with you we can’t begin to discuss all the other….

  9. fjc says:

    Bene….Fred Whaples knows what he is speaking about….from his own personal experience.

    It makes me snicker a little bit when I read Fred commenting on the integrity of those who post. Do you own a mirror Fred?

  10. Give it a rest says:

    Many bloggers are anonymous Fred…take a chill pill!!! The identity of any given blogger is moot….you sound ridiculous….

  11. Elsa Raab says:

    Bene is in good company with other authors who have used pen names/pseudonyms throughout the years.


    C. S. Lewis, Dr. Seuss and Mark Twain are esteemed authors who also chose to “hide” behind an alias.

    There are many commenters on this blog who choose to use pen names.

  12. Fred Whaples says:

    Good examples Elsa…,writers fairy tales, fables, and analogies… you prove my point. By all means stay anonymous Bene… and continue writing fairy tales, fables, and anaologies… but truth I think not. Thanks Elsa .

  13. Torontonian says:

    What would happen if every contributor to this article had taken
    to heart the first few words of each of the 10 suggestions?

    Answer: there wouldn’t be all these hurtful comments.
    It takes a still heart and an open mind to learn. It also requires
    a modicum of humility and servitude to apply these every day
    and in every situation.

    Jesus was a leader in his own way and he demonstrated his leadership
    by being the most humble of servants. Remember that he washed his
    disciples’ feet before the Last Supper. That is an act of humility.
    Humility is a gift that helps leaders to become servants. The greater
    the leader, the more humble that person must become–and that goes
    for Prime Ministers as well–Stephen Harper, take note!

    I write as a member of a mainstream Protestant faith. We have
    a set of values which are: that we sit to learn, kneel to pray, and stand to
    praise. Every one of these elements embodies servitude and humility.
    There’s an inculcation in those three elements and I hope that I live it
    on a daily basis.

    The problems that some have with their faith and their community’s faith-
    values are perhaps best looked at from an outside perspective. The old
    adage about “not seeing the forest for the trees” come to mind.

    There is a big difference between keeping an open mind and a vacant mind.

    This missive is not to speak unkindly to any of the comments above but
    simply to add my perspective to the discussion. For those who feel
    resentment to what I say, I only hope that you will read more carefully
    and draw observations and values I bring to the table for discussion.

  14. Bene D says:

    Here you go Fred, what you are looking for is in this post.


    This isn’t a joke or a game, fairytale or a lie, so watch your response or you’ll be seeing a 404 before you know what happened.

  15. Bene Diction says:

    Ah yes, Bill Stevens.:^)

  16. Fred Whaples says:

    Not sure what a 404 is.. and I am not interested in your games. If you have as much interest in truth as you claim then simply prove it by starting with yourself. I had the integrity to come forward when fake names were being used.. but that is because I am interested in truth… I have to ask again, why is hiding your identity so important? Would knowing your real identity be helpful and secure your position? if so why would you hide? Would knowing your true identity compromise and harm your seemingly versed opinions? One would have to wonder what advantage hiding an identity would be helpful? If hiding is helpful then what other facts have they misrepresented? What information has been sheltered from truth? If the core value of a person is based on lies and veiled truth then how much of what they produce online is of equal worthlessness? If I hide the truth of my identity and have no vested interest in the reprecusions of what I print then how much can be actually held as truth that is produced?

  17. Bene D says:

    You got caught in deception, I’ve made a choice.

    I pay for this blog – and am subject to the same laws anyone else is online, and the same repercussions.

    I should have said 403, not 404.

    In the nine years I’ve blogged, I’ve banned 3 people. Fred is the 4th. He is not banned for questioning my identity, he has been banned for trying to paint difference of opinion as lies.

    “you are very clear and calculated at every mistruth and instigation you publish”
    “your own involvement and position in propogating matters that destroy the innocence of others”
    ” reinforce the lies against all that is good”
    “you have never had my attention nor respect” and several comments later Fred can’t stop.
    ” your ability to be honest and upright has proven impossible”
    “your malicious agenda and lack of truth”
    “I would love to share the truth on a myriad of your distasteful and lie-filled blogs”
    “lying and misrepresentation is who you really are”
    “you are in fact just a lie to begin with”
    ” a big bag of hot air and lies”

    And this:

    “Exposure of your malicious agenda and lack of truth absolutely does. However I will continue the majority of that quest via avenues you might soon encounter unpleasantly.”

    Fred cannot make anything unpleasant for me, he is assuming he has the power. He cannot have power I do not give him.

    I read this story and it’s stuck with me.

    My friend knocks at the door. I’ve just finished cleaning, let him in and he heads into the house with muddy boots on. It’s disconcerting, and annoying, but he is my friend and I stay silent, cleaning up his mud after he leaves.
    The next day my friend is at the door with muddy boots on and in he comes. This time I say, “Fred, your boots are muddy, they leave a mess, this is my house, please take them off at the door.”
    He apologizes, I clean up again.
    The next day he knocks at the door and starts heading in with muddy boots.
    Not this time. I remind him his boots are muddy, and I’ve asked him to remove them, he makes no effort to do so.
    I don’t let him in, my peace of mind and self-respect is just as important as other-respect. Other-respect becomes co-dependency if self-respect gets tromped on.
    BDBO is my online home, Fred is my guest, but he’s mistaken if he believes I’m willing to hand him the power to make my life ‘unpleasant.’

    Fred now knows what a 403 is, muddy boots and all.

  18. fjc says:

    Fred, like all of us, is simply a product of his environment.

    Or is it Bill Stevens???

  19. Bene D says:

    Bill? Bill? That you Bill?

    Yeah, the histrionics are something else.

  20. MEC says:

    Good for you Bene- glad to see the end of him. THANKS

  21. Truth comes out says:

    Fred Whaples is a pathological liar and a bully. It’s all documented. Unlike Bene, who chooses anonymity, Fred chose full-on deception and lying. He’s in no position to point the finger. What a pathetic unraveling of a man.

    It’s not like the world has never seen sociopathic behavior before. It’s sad but plain to see. There’s no reasoning with unstable individuals like this. Banning him to prevent him from doing further damage to himself may be the kindest thing you can do.

  22. Truth Comes Out says:

    It’s also worth mentioning that Fred Whaples did not have “the integrity to come forward” like he says. He was caught red handed in a big fat lie after he denied everything. He showed zero integrity, and even in his apology he tried to blame somebody else.

  23. Sounds exactly like the Fred I know! Thanks Benediction for getting rid of him.

  24. The Lord Ben Chung says:

    I would hereby thank Bene D as a person of integrity, you did pay for this blog, and this is your world. Like the movie, Matrix, “Down here, I am god!” That is the train station operator’s world.

    The only thing I would add, is that although I am disrespectful, loud, and at times, full of vitriolic. But in my heart, I am respectful person, I paid my dues to my beloved school, PHS with my own money and efforts, and many sleepless nights, with knots in my stomach. I also pay for this right to speak, unlike many of my colleagues, they only want to be sure their god is honoured, and that we keep the conversation pleasant. Perhaps, we should sweep all these sexual people into the rubbish pile, who knows?! So I assume the role of a prophet,the Old Testament styled crazy old prophet. I will continue to do so, as long as the school PBI, with Mark Maxwell, and his cronies, and his pawns. I will keep this up, but as for the Hammer, no more stupid comments from me. Once is enough. I will, however, for the sake for “dew” to mock this god that has not helped or shown up. That is my right, I earned it, now we challenge this god of Prairie to come back and face up to the many sexually abused persons here. and take care of them. Amen. Otherwise, I see no future in this god………thus saith the Lord Ben Chung.

  25. dew says:

    Ben, I wish I could keep quiet, but God dos not wish me to do so. He called the Old Testament prophets – you have no right to assume their roles. You know you are wrong to mock God, and I firmly believe that He will deal with you severely for it. Please change, for your own good. You went to PHS, you sat on the board, and I know that you know better.

  26. The Lord Ben Chung says:

    Where is the Hammer and why the nails??

  27. The Lord Ben Chung says:

    Turnips? Macomber Turnips??

  28. Roger Armbruster says:

    Ben, I bless you! I bless you! I bless you!

    What we sow, we will reap. The curse without a cause will not come. And those who bless will inherit a blessing. This is what the Lord God Yahweh says.

    Not YOUR way. Not MY way. But Yahweh! May you be richly blessed.

  29. Hank Hamm says:

    I’ve really tried to avoid getting into the comments here lately, but I just can’t leave my good friend Benjamin on the chopping block. Some have not known him as long as I have and I want you to know just how big his heart is for those people whose lives have been damaged by abuse. He may have an unusual way of expressing himself, but I would stand next to this man in any fight.

    Just one thing, Ben; God doesn’t accomplish those corrections that you want with thunder and lightening, as of old. Now he uses people to arrange for justice on earth, and specially trained people to provide healing.

    I wonder sometimes, if that saying is really true, ‘We can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar’?

    All the best in your quest, Ben.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Just for contemplation….regarding the flies and honey: you can catch many many more flies with horse poop…

  31. Roger Armbruster says:

    I have given that some long and deep contemplation, and am wondering if the flies would actually STICK to the horse poop in the same way that they would stick to honey.

    Just contemplatin…

    One thing I know for sure, and it is that Ben and I are the best of friends.

  32. Diana K. Stooshnov says:

    Maybe the flies would stick better to honey, but we are to go forth and multiply and they certainly do that better with horse doodoo.

  33. Roger Armbruster says:

    They might multiply better, but could we catch them? The original statement had to do with how best to catch a fly.

  34. The Lord Ben Chung says:

    I am blessed to have many friends here. I too, bless the work of Brother Armbruster and his natives. I owe much of my understanding to those who ad been abused while in a ‘christian environment’ and ‘a god who is fullof love.’ While sitting on the Board of Prairie, I finally came away with the understanding that this god has died. We killed him/her. And under the tutelage of now disgraced Dr Ohlhauser, many of us came away with fear and silence. We cannot go against a god whose rage was onto the staffs of Prairie. We also came away uneased with Ken Penner whose careful manipulation, helped to get rid of my high school. The lesson is simple, and let me share it with ‘dew,’ your faith is on shifting sand, especially in god and in those who claimed to believe god. In reality, when I sat onthe Board, all about love for my school, PHS, this god is no where in the board room. He is powerless,and mute, and blind. He cannot listen to our prayers, nor could he have stopped Ohlhausr to proceed and chop people, shamed them, and stepped on them. god has died in this for me, and for many. He has died, and he was killed by the Power of our Ohlhauser. He was not able to stop our Ohlhauser, nor was he able to protect the entire Bible Department. All was hacked and cut down like the tree in the vision of Nebuchadnezzar. In his madness, he saw god and inhis madness he finally submit to him. It is logical then, that this god, this style of god, is madness. So many of people like our ‘dew’ believe god, but in reality, this is madness, when we deny the rights and justice to the victims here. It is pure madness, god is crazy. I like to bury this style of god publicly. I am sure when your god died, ‘dew’ , you will mourn for him. So cry and wail out loud, for my heart will not be comforted. As Rachel weeps for his children and will not be consoled, for they are no more. Yes, on that day, that Ohlhauser took over Prairie, the old god of Prairie died. The rest of us is trying to cover up this news, even the abused stories of the past. These stories have now been told, and now act as the final coffin nails to the fate of this school. Those who block the way of the truth, will eventually be the victims of truth. I propose that in the end, our ‘dew’ maybe a far worst atheist as I am, and that day will come.

    I hereby challenge the god of Prairie to resurrect himself, and show up and put away these animals who abused children many years ago, to destroy them like the biblical god in the Old times. If he did, I would bow and get on my knees. Until then, I would hold this god in contempt, mock him often, and laugh at his expense. And invite him to come to dinner and our Tea Party.

  35. Roger Armbruster says:

    Marina, you are looking at the history of the church through the lens of the church as an institution, particularly in Europe and in North America, wherever the church has been ruled by the love of power rather than the power of love. What has any of that got to do with Jesus Christ? Please be aware that Christianity is not a white man’s religion, nor is it a western religion or institution. Jesus Himself was not even a westerner, and certainly did not think in the individualistic, self-centred worldview that many westerners do.

    What I find of interest that in many of the same countries where people have been hurt the worst whenever the church has been a part of the imperialists or the colonizers, yet it is not in Europe or in North America, but in those very Third World countries and nations that the church is now growing by leaps and bounds, not as an institution, and not as a western religion, but as an indigenous movement, as it was in the beginning.

    What you might find of interest is that even here in North America, that an authentic Christian faith is flourishing most, not among the westerners, but among the Inuit, and the indigenous peoples, the original peoples of the land.

    In every history, in every culture, in every people group, there is a history of both the precious and the worthless. Your selection of church history of even the institutional church, for all of its sins, is still one-sided and unbalanced. Even former First Nations Grand National Chief Phil Fontaine has now come to a place where he recognizes that this history has two sides, not the one side that you love to grovel in as if it were the whole of reality.

    Just yesterday, I came across this article in the Winnipeg Free Press about Phil Fontaine, the former Grand National Chief. http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/archbishop-delights-in-his-new-brothers-147546535.html

    Former Assembly of First Nations national chief Phil Fontaine issued his own apology — to the Catholics who had shown goodness, but whom he had for years “tarred with the same brush” in “indiscriminately” expressing his bitterness and anger at his treatment as a child in the residential schools.

    “That was unfair,” Fontaine said. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. It’s been a struggle to find some balance in this tragic history.”

    This is only the tip of the ice berg. I know of many chiefs, including some grand chiefs, who openly identify themselves as Christians, and as a part of the Church of Jesus Christ, in spite of the residential schools. Why is this so? Why are Native people who have been hurt by the church which you describe now finding healing through the Jesus who is all about the power of love rather than the love of power?

    http://www.risingabove.ca Please check out the 2-minute video clip. This is a ministry that I identify with.

    To lump me in with those who are anti-semitic, and who believe in replacement theology, is as big of a misreading of who I am as you can get. It is sheer ignorance. In point of fact, how would you imagine that I could identify with the indigenous peoples of many nations, including the Maori of New Zealand, the Aboriginees of Australia, the indigenous peoples of Fiji and Samoa, the Inuit of Greenland and Canada, the Samis of Arctic Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia, and the First Nations of Canada, and take them to Israel, to identify with both the Jewish and the Palestininian people, and even the Gypsies, and all who have been oppressed, and seeing them sing together, and laugh together, sharing their songs and their dances and their instruments for the glory of the Creator.

    I know the side of history which you describe, but it does not tell the whole story, unfortunately, but the part of history which you describe is a history of what has happened every time that the church has abandoned its mandate to be an organism that heals and reconciles rather than an institution that oppresses. Whenever the church stops being the church, and starts using the oppressive and coercive powers of the state, it starts to oppress and to hurt the very people that it has been called to heal and to reconcile.

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